Communicate, communicate, communicate.
This is the first rule of working with a financial planner.
(It is also, by the way, the first rule of estate planning.)
If you can only remember one thing about how to have a good relationship with your financial planner, it’s a good one thing to remember.
But considering the amount of time, effort, sometimes uncomfortable introspection, and cost it takes to work with a good financial planner, it’d behoove you to figure out how to make the most out of that relationship. Yes?
Behold one financial planner’s thoughts about how you can do just that.
Ideally, the First Step Is: Hire the Right Planner at the Right Time
It’s going to be really hard to milk all the value out of the relationship with your financial planner if you hire one that you don’t jibe with very well.
I mean “jibe” in a very broad sense. You need to like their personality, their philosophy of investing and planning, and their process. If you don’t like one of those things, the relationship will likely always feel a bit like a pebble in your shoe—you can deal with it, but you’re never fully comfortable.
You have to like their “story.”
When I first changed careers into financial planning, back in 2010, I was hired into a firm with the idea that I could succeed the owner in a few years, as she was looking to sell the firm. After a few months of working at the firm, I had all sorts of anxiety about this plan.
(Spoiler alert: all those anxieties coalesced into me not buying it. Which is why I now live in Bellingham, WA, and work with women in their mid-career in tech as opposed to living in Norfolk, VA, and working with federal-government retirees.)
At that time, I had the luck of talking with a well-respected thought-leader (let’s call him Michael) in the industry about this “to buy or not to buy” choice. I mentioned that one thing giving me pause was that the retiring advisor was an “active investor.” She chose individual stocks and actively managed mutual funds, which she sold out of and bought into over time. By contrast, I have always been a passive investor: just “own the market” by way of index funds and keep costs low so that I keep as much of the market returns as possible. I don’t try to “beat the market.”
Michael told me that shifting from active to passive investing would be a hard transition to make in the firm. The clients had been told/taught/sold an active investment “story,” and I was proposing changing that to a passive story. Changing stories is really really hard.
What does this mean for you? I believe you need to make sure, before hiring a planner, that the “story” they’re telling is one that you already agree with or could see yourself agreeing with. It’s going to be bumpy if you believe one story and they’re constantly telling a different one.
I have had relationships with clients that made me feel like a bad financial planner. It didn’t seem like these clients were getting much value out of our relationship. So, by that reasonable definition, I was a bad planner. For them. (And man is that a bitter pill to swallow for someone who considers herself in fact quite a good planner.)
Upon reflection, the usual culprit was that these clients simply didn’t fully buy into the investing or planning story I was selling. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my client’s fault. I mean, except to the extent that neither of us identified early enough that I just didn’t offer what they wanted or needed.
Ask Yourself These Questions
When you’re on the hunt for a financial planner, interview several. I’ve written several articles about which questions you should ask when interviewing a financial planner. There are innumerable other such articles on the interwebs.
After the interview, ask yourself these questions:
Do I trust this person? Enough, at least?
Trust will definitely grow with the relationship. But starting from a position of distrust or cynicism is, IMO, a big red flag.
Do I feel comfortable (enough) talking with this person?
Personal financial planning is pretty intimate work. It’ll be way easier and more enjoyable if you like your financial planner. You don’t have to be friends. But feeling friendly is important.
Do I agree with how this person approaches financial planning and investing?
The first step here is figuring out what the planner’s approach is.
You can ask them questions directly, when interviewing them, of course.
But before you even get face to face, consume their content. This is one reason why I write so much. I have blogged consistently for nine years. I post on social media (mostly LinkedIn) all the time. I dedicate a lot of effort to the firm’s website. I want my story, Flow’s story, to be so obvious and accessible that only the people who like that story ask to work with me.
All financial planners tell a different story. Some slightly different. Some radically different. If one planner’s story doesn’t suit you, just continue looking! There are plenty of financial planners (even if sometimes maybe you don’t know how to find them).
“At the right time” = Are you ready to do the work?
Working with a financial planner will require work from you. Some of it is merely technical, but can still be administratively burdensome (“roll your old 401(k) into your new 401(k)”). Some of it has real behavioral implications (“reduce your monthly spending by $500” or “work with this estate planning attorney to ensure your estate planning is up to date”).
This is great stuff! This work will put you in a much stronger financial position! But only if you do it. If you don’t, then you’re wasting your time and money with your planner.
I recently watched a webinar about the transtheoretical model of change. I am, of course, still mostly ignorant about it, but it seems a helpful framework for evaluating whether you’re ready to get real value out of your work with a planner. The stages of change are:
- Precontemplation: Not ready to change
- Contemplation: Getting ready to change
- Preparation: Ready to change
- Action: Making changes
- Maintenance: Sustaining changed behavior
If you’re not ready to change, maybe don’t hire a planner yet, because they won’t be able to do much for you.
Show Up As You Would in Any Relationship You Care About
Your relationship with your financial planner is, to a large extent, just another interpersonal relationship. You probably know what makes interpersonal relationships work:
- Show respect to the other person
- Appreciate the other person
- Care about the other person
- Be responsive
- Be honest
- Make an effort
- Express your needs
I owe this to my clients, as their planner. And I believe they “owe” it to me. Yes, yes, they’re paying me a fee for my work and the roles and responsibilities in the relationship are different. It’s not the same as your relationship with your husband, for example.
But, I can work with clients who pay me a fee and show up in the relationship, or I can work with clients who pay me a fee and don’t show up in the relationship. Give you one guess which type of client I’m going to gravitate towards.
Communicate communicate communicate.
Give your planner feedback. Let them know what you need that you’re not getting. It makes it so much easier for me. I appreciate this feedback!
Respond promptly when your planner asks you something. If you don’t know the answer or can’t do what they’re asking you to do, simply let them know! Just don’t leave a void of communication, which the planner (if they’re anything like me) can fill with all sorts of unsettling stories that almost always turn out to be untrue.
Some of my best relationships are with clients who have, in no uncertain terms, told me about something that was lacking in the relationship. Sometimes even about an explicit mistake I made. I apologize, fix the process, and if necessary, make the client whole. The client feels heard and respected and is also more confident in our work going forward (it seems, at least).
We run annual client-feedback surveys to try to get more of this insight out of our clients, but you needn’t wait for any official “tell us what you think” requests. Tell them what you think when you’re thinking it!
There really is no downside. If you have something critical to say, then either the planner addresses that issue in a way that satisfies you (yay). Or they don’t. In which case you’ve just found out that this maybe isn’t the right planner for you after all. Not pleasant, but still a step in the right direction.
Ask Your Planner How to Get the Most Out of Working with Them
I imagine most planners would agree with what I’ve already said. I asked some colleagues how they would advise potential clients to get the most of working with a financial planner. (Please note that I circulate in comprehensive-planning-forward, emotionally attuned professional circles, which is a small part of the overall industry. If you ask, say, a stockbroker this question, I imagine you’re going to get very different answers.)
Here’s a smattering of their answers:
Come to the quarterly meetings and ask questions. Decide on an allocation [balance of stocks, bonds, cash] and stick with it. Ignore the news. Provide data when the planners ask for it. Under the markets are efficient and if the client hears something, it is already incorporated in the markets.
For retirees: Let your advisor manage your investments. The ability for an advisor to monitor flows into and out of a portfolio is one of the most under-appreciated aspects of what advisors do for clients, particularly when considering risks associated with cognitive decline and elder abuse.
The ability to put aside their ego and what they think they know, to explore with curiosity what they don’t know.
Bring your life partner, especially if you generally avoid talking about $ together.
I feel like the clients who I see make the most progress are the ones who are most engaged. They come to meetings to listen with few distractions, ask questions, and reach out proactively for guidance around decisions … instead of informing me after.
Show up, ask questions, listen, ask before acting.
The clients I work best with are the ones that come to the meeting with questions or ask questions as we’re discussing things in the meeting. They also come with updates; when asking questions about selling rental properties, they have the rent and other P&L numbers. When they have questions about investments, they have a rough idea of how much cash leftover they have each month/year.
What I think is valuable in the relationship isn’t necessarily what you think is valuable. I’ve certainly had clients for whom I thought I wasn’t providing much value who have then expressed profuse thanks for my work. Some clients who exclaim, “Please don’t fire me!” after not communicating with me for many months.
So, perhaps I’ll end with a final piece of advice:
Figure out for yourself what would make your work with your financial planner feel most valuable to you. And then communicate, communicate, communicate that to your planner.
What could you do to get more out of your relationship with your financial planner?